So its Sunday afternoon and I’m currently still buzzing from our church meeting earlier. I had planned to share something else with you today but I thought this was more appropriate since its something that some friends and I have been discussing recently.
I want you to understand that this is not a negative post but its something I wanted to talk about. Because as a single woman there seems to be a lot of pressure from others especially those closest to you who are well-meaning and want the best for us. I mean who wouldn’t want to be a guest at their best friend’s wedding one day? I jump at any and all wedding invitations. Because I love the dancefloor. Who wouldn't want to be dancing to the Candy song? 'its like candy...I can feel it when you walk...' I dare you to Youtube it. I'll wait until you return for the rest of the post.
Don't worry I did the same thing whilst writing this. It is natural to desire intimacy within a marriage one day. It is natural to want to start a family. It is natural to want to share our lives with someone who we can be vulnerable with. Warts and all. Who hasn’t got a few, hey?
But there are times when these desires are not met by a certain time or age. And it can be frustrating. We have to be honest. We see our friends getting into relationships, getting married buying their first house, having children, etc. And we look in the mirror and it's our own reflection staring right back at us. So what is wrong with me? Some would say. Why can't I find someone? Why hasn’t God brought me, someone, for me to love and care for yet?
I tell you, those questions are valid and I myself do consider them at some point. But I’m here to encourage you as well as myself writing this that our timing and God's timing are not the same. If we are willing to trust and allow Him to be our matchmaker, He will surely give us more than what we think we want and more. He will always surprise us.
From the stories I’ve listened to so far, especially those who waited on God and trusted in His timing has said that they could never imagine what they found in their spouses because God brought the right person they needed that has helped them to grow, mature and be a better version of themselves with time. As Solomon, who is still the wisest man ever lived said “as iron sharpens iron so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend” you can find this in Proverbs Chapter 27 verse 17 (NKJV). You are the product of who you spend your time with. And it is advisable to seek to be with someone who will bring you closer to God, not away from Him.
Well, you may say, If God wants to give me all that then why is he taking so long? I’ve mentioned this in some of my recent posts that God will not give us something if He knows it won't be a blessing to us. I’m one hundred percent certain that when God sees that we are ready to be moulded and be willing to sacrifice our will that is when He will grant us the desires of our hearts.
I’ve recently just finished reading a book regarding this matter and one thing that has stood out to me or maybe a couple - that if we say we want to get married, are we positioning ourselves to be found? Are we actively seeking to find someone who shares our faith and values, are we actively seeking to change certain things within us that may be unattractive to the type of person that we want to be with? Are we becoming the right person for the person we say we want? If we are honest at times maybe we’re not doing any of these things but is simply sitting around with our arms crossed waiting for God to do what we have to do.
But then again, what guarantee do we have that all singles will get married? If we have this desire but it never becomes a reality? The answer I do not know, but what I want to ask is this. Would you still be content with your singleness if you never marry? Will you still love God as you say you do? Will you still give yourself to the calling you have on your life to help others? Will you still be happy? Because if we’re not happy and content with who and where we are in life, what profit will you bring to someone else’s?
So here is the love equation: one plus one equals one. Did you get that? Yes, one plus one equals one. If you’re not whole as a person you will be a minus in the other person’s life. I know I want to be a plus in my spouse's life and I sure do hope he also wants to be a plus in my life.
So until we say ‘I do’ I’ll still be married to Jesus and I will continue to have my peace, comfort, and most of all, all the love that I could ever need. But honestly, two is always better than one, right?
Until next time.
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