Happy September! Can you imagine it's now 4 months until the year 2020 will be a year where we will all look back on and think ‘What happened?’ or ‘Wow, it was a great year for me!’ I guess it’s the same when they say beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, in comparison each of us will have different experiences of the same thing. And we have to be willing to allow others to have their experiences even though we may not agree or see things in the same way.
Which brings me to today’s topic of Family. We love them so much, they pull at our heartstrings and yet they sometimes get on our last nerve, they don’t listen to us and we don’t listen to them either and so it goes on for so long that distance is now the best way to ‘solve’ the issue. But does it really? Or does it make the matter even worse? Just like they say it's a ‘storm in a tea-cup’ And you know there are times it is a storm in a teacup and there are times when it is a life-size storm in our hearts. Let's be real.
But you may ask, Shawna, but how can I change the situation in my family? How can I love them even though they don’t deserve it? How can I forgive them for what they did or say to me? Well, dear friends, I don’t have all the answers but I do know someone who does. He teaches us in Matthew chapter 6 how to pray. But not only for ourselves but also for those who have wronged us.
He focused on the part of forgiveness. Verse 12 says ‘and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors’ which means we ourselves is asking God to forgive us first but only on the basis that we ourselves forgive those around us, and if we do, then He will write off our debts against Him but if we don’t forgive others then He will also keep a tab on all our debts towards Him.
You might say but what they did to me is unforgivable? I can't let it go! You are right, maybe it is unforgivable but when it comes to matters of the heart it will always try to deceive us into thinking that doing the right thing is going to hurt us even more. But it’s a lie from the pits of hell! Doing the right thing sets you free from all grudges, hurt, betrayal, backbiting, gossips, you name it. You. Are. Free. Roger that?
And although in the moment of letting it go you will feel as if you’re losing. And yes you are losing indeed! Gotcha there! You’re losing the very things that have been holding you captive, the very things that have been robbing your peace and your joy! You’re losing all the hurt that may have stopped you from giving and receiving the very love that you crave so much.
Using my faith when it comes to my family was very difficult. I had spent most of my time crying, being the mediator at times when there were arguments, I would feel so helpless, I had taken their problems on my head and I was so paralysed by them I couldn't even move forward in my own personal walk with God. I was praying to God on their behalf but the burden was too much, I still was not trusting that God would take care of them.
Until one day, I made one of the hardest decisions in my faith and that was to let go of my family. And when I say let go, I meant allowing God to take care of them wherever they are, allowing God to provide their need for them, He may not use me personally but I started to trust that He will use others around them to speak to them, to help them, while I stay in peace and focused on my own relationship with God.
I must agree, it was not easy but it was the best thing I did all those years ago. There are things that will always require work and improvement but now I can say I have peace that God got my family. I no longer worry, I no longer cry when I hear how bad things are with them, now I cry out to God in prayer and leave it there right at His feet. Because I stand on this word which says:
Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 (NKJV)
Now can you imagine? Jesus is saying me and you should come to Him and He will give us rest. Now, why would I still want to carry the burden of the problems of my family on my small, feeble shoulders? He already carried it all to the cross for me and for you. So I encourage you to stand on those words too because He cares for you and your family. Even that family member, yes that one that just came to mind! The one that makes you want to scream! The one that is causing the most upset! Yes, Jesus died for them too.
Don't give up on them. Pray for them if you haven't been doing so yet, or continue if you have given up and stopped. Once you start praying for them you will see that your heart will start to melt towards them.
So my question for you today is this: what are you willing to lose in order to gain?
Until next time.
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