Welcome to the closed group where family members, friends, colleagues, and even associates in a room where you are the center of attention! Are you seeing it in your mind's eye? Alright! So now you’re actually sitting in the middle of this closed group, they are all sitting in a circle around you; looking at you, smiling.
They’re even excited because they’re expecting an elaborate answer to their question, they’re expecting an answer that will help them to start their own planning (in their head because they won't say a word). Every. Single. Detail. Of the anticipated proposal and wedding day.
The answer to the question why are you still single?
Now I would like to think that I am a woman of faith and I believe that nothing happens before it's time. But I am telling you. Recently I’ve been having this question a lot especially in this lockdown where I’d hear. ‘You need to have company’ 'You look so well’ ‘You need someone to hold you’ Which of course I won't deny because all the above comments are valid and I believe them one hundred percent.
It is however a question that I myself will try to answer although God may be thinking what is wrong with this woman. I’ve told her so many times to be anxious for nothing, I've told her not to worry about tomorrow, I've told her she’s the apple of my eye why is she so worried about what, when, where, how, who, why? And the list goes on.
I will try to answer. Ever since my adult years growing up my reasons for relationships were not to be married to the person I was with at the time. It was out of boredom and the expectations of those around me, especially my peers at the time. I was extremely shy when it came to boys and to be honest if it wasn’t for my friend in college I probably would not have had a boyfriend at the time I did. I didn't mind being a loner. I loved my own company.
I had the dream (as the majority of us women) that by a certain age we would be married to our knight in shining armor (although if someone turned up like this on my doorstep I would probably think it was a joke) and would have started a family and live happily ever after. I think the last four words there are only in the movies but it's nice to dream, isn’t it?
For me, that plan didn’t work. Because by the time I had reached my deadline age I was not ready mentally for a relationship much less marriage. I desired to be in one but I knew that there were things inside me that I needed to work on. And I recommend this one hundred percent. I love saying that!
Before starting a relationship we have to be at peace with ourselves. We have to sort out any baggage we may be carrying from the past that may have a negative impact on our potential partner, ourselves, and ultimately the relationship as a whole. Because he or she might do something or say something that could trigger a negative response in you that you yourself didn’t realise until it is too late.
Alright! So going back to answering the question. I’ve taken the time since then to invest in myself. Learn more about myself. Learn new things that I've always wanted to learn about. Travel to places I dreamt of. Meet new people and enjoy the experiences along the way. I have met many people who have shaped my character for the better and those who have made me really think about the type of person I would want to spend the rest of my life with.
The experiences have been priceless so far. So why am I still single? Maybe I haven’t put myself in the right place at the right time yet. Maybe the person I will eventually marry isn’t ready for me yet. Maybe I’m not ready for such commitment yet? But who knows, it will happen when it happens. I am patient. I am still learning. I am expectant.
And if God is in the midst and I’m allowing Him to take control of this precious area of my life then why should I be worried about it? As a woman I can't force the situation but I know I can influence it with my faith in action.
For those who are expecting something to happen that hasn’t happened yet. From the advice that I’ve been given, I shall share it with you. A blessing at the wrong time can also be a curse. Imagine giving a child the keys to a brand new car. Can you trust that they will be responsible for it? Probably not. Because it’s not the right time for them to have it.
So, continue to trust and believe in yourself. Trust the process. Within no time this dream will be a thing of the past and you will soon be reaching for something greater!
Until next time.
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